The Key To His Heart

    You gave me the key to your heart...you begged me to lock

your heart away from danger, to keep it safe with mine...but what you

didn't know is that my heart was locked in barbed wire...i let my

feelings get a head of me, thinking your heart really would be safe

with mine, and put it to close.

    As days passed, your heart was slowly scratched up by mine.

But you kept a smile on your face, no matter how much i hurt you.

    Your Pain turned into anger, and my sorrow turned to hate.

    Angry words flashed between us. You coped with alcohol, while

i coped with pain pills.

    The anger slowly faded between us, replaced by numbness and

drugs.

    You cry during the day, sitting alone in your cabin, slowly

sipping from a warm beer, while I sit in class, so far away from

everyone.

    I cry during the night, cuddled in a ball in my bed, taking

just one more pill, while you lie passed out in a drunken haze.

    Today you tried to call me. To beg for help. The alcohol was

trying to kill you. But I ignored you. Just like you ignored me last

night as I tried to call you. To cry for help. The pills were scaring

me so much.

    Now I don't know where you are. I'm crying so hard.

    I wish you were here, safe in my arms, with no alcohol on your

breath.

    Your last text said you were worried about me, that you didn't

care about your self. Just me.

    You wished I was in your cabin, curled up beside you, with no

glazed look in my eyes.

    Last Night I had a dream.

I can see you lying in a hospital bed.

It's easy to tell its you. All the black you wear stands out in

the blinding white.

Your crying, the a bottle of whiskey hugged to

your body.

I can see myself sitting beside the bed, my eye liner

running down my face from the hot tears. A small bottle of pills

feels like its burning a hole in my pocket.

    You look at me and see the dazed look in my eyes, and begin

to cry harder and try to pull me to you. I smell the alcohol on your

breath and cry harder, trying to pull away.

    I awoke from my dream with sweat clinging my clothes to my

body, and tears making my face sticky and wet with warmth. Most

people would go back to sleep. I grabbed for the pills again and hid

in the corner and cried myself to sleep again.

    Im so scared....where are you...we need each other...to help

each other...to kill our addictions before they kill us. We know

whats going to happen if we don't stop. Maybe that's the plan. Maybe

we want suicide. But we want each other to live.

Maybe you want to drink yourself into a coma..maybe you already did.

Maybe I want to drug myself to no return...maybe I will.

    I hold the key to your heart around my neck. People smile at

me when they see it glimmer in the light. I cry when I look at it.

They see a silver key with beautiful diamonds. I see a silver key

with blood stains and barbed wire.